I am fighting a war above all wars in my life. Thyroid cancer. Got to admit this one caught me completely off guard. I was told by doctors at UAMS and Vanderbilt that there was no way I could have cancer. So of course when they told me I had thyroid cancer that had spread into my lymph nodes, I was not in a state to process it. That and the fact that I was alone and on morphine. The doctor came in and started telling me about the pathology report and treatment. The room was spinning and I remember asking the doctor, "Are you going to write this down?" She shook her head no and kept on talking, making a follow-up appointment two weeks later. All I remember was her repeatedly telling me I needed to stay away from small children.
The worst part was having to call my husband who was flying with his military company to training before moving out to Afganistan. He left thinking the thyroidectomy was a success and I would have a quick recovery. I told him while still on morphine and I am so blessed that I remember very little of that painful conversation.
I say I was alone in the room, but that was not true. I had a roommate named Wanda on the other side of the curtain. She and I had conversations earlier that only people with iv drips and morphine would understand. But she also knew God and the power of positive thinking. After the doctor left the room, it was quiet for a little while. Then I heard Wanda say, "What are you thinking?" I wasn't ready to put any thoughts into words yet, but I responded, "I guess I'm trying to figure out what to tell my husband." Wrong answer. Whoosh! the curtains came flying back and a determined, yet wobbly, patient began to lecture me. "Don't you even start letting the devil slip in with negative thoughts. We are gonna pray right now." And she did. I mean, she prayed hard. It whipped me back into fighting mode. I thank her for quickly getting my head on straight. I've lived a life understanding battles. I needed to call on my faith, and the sooner the better.
I expected this blog to be help me deal with Wayne's deployment. It is still that, of course, because I am missing him now more than ever. But it's become something more. I'm curious to see how this will all unfold. When I look back to this one year from now, I am excited to see what God will have done during this time. All for His glory!
